Reason #3 I'm Excited That Gossip Girl Is Almost Back

The Aesthetic Value.

It’s Saturday night, and I’d like to give the impression that I have a social life as active as the UES denizens I’ve been writing about, so I’m going to keep this one short.  Because at 11 PM, I’m totally going out for a fun night in the city, and definitely not chowing down on the pastries my grandma brought over while watching my Netflixed Season One of Lost.

Aesthetically, Gossip Girl has to be one of the most enjoyable shows on TV.  And I don’t mean from a cinematographic perspective, or because of anything related to how they make the show.  I’m talking about the pretty, pretty people in the cast and the gorgeous clothes they wear.  Attractive people just make my viewing experience all the better.

Reason #4 I'm Excited That Gossip Girl Is Almost Back

The Gossip.

Duh, right? Actually, this was the last item on the list to occur to me, maybe because it's too obvious. The drama on Gossip Girl is terrifically scandalous, and I couldn't fully express my appreciation for it without detailing the plotline of each and every episode. Even with a season abbreviated by the writers' strike, that would take a while.

I will say that the writers did a nice job with the story of why Serena left and then came back over the course of the season. The initial intrigue made Serena an especially mysterious character, and it set up some of those great early fights between her and Blair. That general air of mystery really pulled me in, and then bam! Before I knew it, I cared about the characters enough to keep watching each week. And then, the super-awesome Georgina packed an unexpected punch by bringing back the story with even more scandal and intrigue.

[Aside: I freaking loved Georgina and the twist she brought to the show, but the way they tied up her storyline in about 8 minutes in the season finale so that she basically just disappeared in a puff of smoke? Bleh. That was some lazy shit.]

Here's hoping for more awesome drama in a strike-free Season Two--it's shows like this that remind me that scripted TV is a hell of a lot more interesting than watching Lauren Conrad sighing dramatically for 22 minutes at a time. [Note to The Hills producers: more LC & Lo being funny and cute together! That's what made them awesome on Laguna.]

Something That Is Awesome - 8/28

This whole countdown to the premiere of Gossip Girl is pretty much a week dedicated to pure awesomeness, but I still feel compelled to do a separate Awesome Thing.

I’ve mentioned this in passing before, but The Ricky Gervais Show is freaking awesome.  I’m a big fan of the British incarnation of The Office, and Extras is pretty sweet, too (oh my God, I think the Kate Winslet episode has to warrant an entire Awesome Thing post sometime in the near future), so when I was perusing audio books on iTunes, I was thrilled to find compilations of a podcast that Gervais did a couple years back.

The Ricky Gervais Show features the inimitable Ricky, as well as Stephen Merchant, who co-created and wrote both TV shows and starred in Extras, as well as producer and remarkable buffoon Karl Pilkington.  Most of the podcasts feature readings from Pilkington’s diary, which is mind-blowing in its asshattery.

Here are a couple quotes:

“There was a really fat bloke on the plane.  He was playing on his PSP.  While I waited to go to the toilet I looked at what game he was playing—it was darts.  He’s that fat and lazy, he can’t even face playing a more active game on a games console.”

On a fellow vacationer: “One of them was in a wheelchair.  I don’t think it was wise of him to come to a volcanic island with a wheelchair.  Everywhere’s pretty rough-paved and slope-y.”

I don’t think I’m doing these justice in writing, but I’m dying laughing as I listen to them.  Ricky Gervais gets an A+ from me for pretty much everything he’s done.

Reason #5 I'm Excited That Gossip Girl Is Almost Back

The Soundtrack

I love the Gossip Girl soundtrack something fierce.  I don’t mean an actual soundtrack, because nobody’s produced one.  Yet.  But time and time again, I find myself getting totally into at least one song per episode.  My Google search history has become a series of insane-looking inquiries.  For example:

“Gossip Girl song victor victrola burlesque strip.”

“Gossip Girl song slumber party Jenny pretty little problem.”

“Gossip Girl song French commercial.”

I realize that these look like the ravings of a lunatic with rather specific interests—if you take out the word “song,” actually, they even start to sound a bit gross and pervy: “girl burlesque French slumber party.”  Grody.

But this gets results!  My convoluted Googling has allowed me to track down a whole bunch of sexy-awesome songs which have made their way into regular rotation on my iPod.  The Sohodolls, the Virgins, Plastic Bertrand…I can’t get enough, and I’m super psyched to hear what the new season has to offer.

If you hear of any plans to release an actual Gossip Girl soundtrack, please let me know, and save me from freakish Internet searches and guesswork!  The first person to do so will earn my undying affection.  And something pretty.

Reason #6 I'm Excited That Gossip Girl Is Almost Back

The Return of TV in General

OK, this one's not earth-shattering or anything, but it's #6 on a list of seven. Something has to be stuck in no-man's land. The summer has brought us the glory of the Olympics, a really soul-crushingly dull season of Project Runway (I mean, try to find one person from PR5 who's half as talented as Christian or Jillian or Rami or Kit Pistol, or as delightful as Chris March; incidentally, I'd like to know exactly whom Terri has to fuck to win a challenge), and for a brave and freaky few of us, the annual freakshow that is Big Brother.

But it's time to get on with the regular TV season, and it all starts with Gossip Girl. Serena and Blair et al are the ones truly kicking off as Labor Day weekend comes to a close, and for a TV freak like me, it's hard not to see some symbolic importance in this. Every September, I recommit myself to a school-year's worth of not reading, not following politics in any serious or thoughtful way, and being majorly pissed when stupid shit like the World Series interferes with what's really important: Gossip Girl. And 30 Rock. And The Office. And maybe Ugly Betty, too.

Reason #7 I’m Excited That Gossip Girl Is Almost Back

In the final week leading up to the much-anticipated (by me, at least) return of Gossip Girl, I’m offering a countdown of some of the things I like most about the show. Seven days, seven reasons to love the show, culminating in my number one on premiere day, September 1. So, without further ado:

Reason Number Seven
Feeling justified in my criticism of The O.C.

I’m referring specifically to the fact that, lo those many moons ago, when I was an O.C. fan, I enjoyed the show but insisted that it would be about 212% (geddit???) better if it took place in New York. Thus, I feel vindicated that Josh Schwartz has taken to the mean streets of Manhattan for what is, in many ways, the same exact show [honestly: rich but totally laid-back girl dates guy from wrong side of the tracks (Chino=Brooklyn) and has a bitchy, stuck-up, but basically awesome best friend; parents of two of the teen characters (crazy-rich old dude & middle-aged but still thin and gorgeous woman) get married; wrong-side-of-tracks (Brooklyn, ahhh scary!) guy gets into a fight in the first episode, etc.]

I loved the O.C. drama (for about a season and a half), but I always felt like the show suffered from blandness of background. The houses were fancy, the sunsets super-pretty, but the setting just never grabbed me. I have to admit that I’m a New York elitist, and therefore have some prejudices against anything that happens outside the Four Boroughs That Count, but I think there’s one key difference that proves my point:

In its first season, The O.C. had several BIG!SPECIAL! episodes that took the characters to exotic locations—as I recall, they went off to Las Vegas, LA, and Tijuana within the first year. Which is fine, which is lovely, but the fact that the writers felt the need to spice up the scenery so frequently shows that Newport was lacking a certain spark.

Compare that to Gossip Girl, Schwartz’s vastly superior creation, which hasn’t had so much as one scene outside of New York City, as far as I remember. The characters go to other places—we’ve heard mention of Nate’s sailing trip in Maine, the Bass bachelor party in Monte Carlo, and the various spring break shenanigans everybody got up to—but it’s never on-screen, as if anything going on outside the city doesn’t happen in any real sense of the word. I fucking love that. The New York backdrop plays a huge part in my enjoyment of the series, and it's a big part of the reason I'm so excited for its imminent return.

And yeah, I know: the beginning of the new season is going to be all about the Hamptons. Which is basically an extension of the city, a backyard for the fancy. Still counts.

Post-Script

Wow. It seems that I'm some kind of fashion psychic.

A Totally Shallow Profile of a Top Athlete and Where He Has Gone Wrong

I had intended this as an awesome thing, but it’s tempered with some moderate bitching, and I want to keep Awesome Thursdays free of any negativity, if possible.  And overall, I’m not all that annoyed—I just feel like I’ve been missing out on something.

The upshot is, this back cover from New York is pretty freaking awesome.  [By the by, I spend at least a third of my life on Gawker, so if it seems like I spend way too much time babbling about things I’ve read or seen there, that’s why.  I don’t anticipate this changing any time soon.]  I repeat, though, that I feel like I’ve been missing out, because I’d never really taken any great interest in Rafael Nadal, and I think it’s because the boy doesn’t know how to dress himself.

I want to reiterate, it’s not like I didn’t see the appeal, but this is the first picture of Nadal that made me go, “Ffwwuh!”  I’m not sure I’m accurately conveying the sound I’m going for, but if you’re envisioning a noise that could really embarrass you if you made it at work, you’re not far off the mark.  I didn’t realize it was him right away, and the problem results from the fact that Rafael typically falls victim to a few fashion faux-pas.  He wears shorts that are just a bit too long, and which fall below his knees, having the unfortunate effect of chopping his legs off at a weird spot and making him appear shorter than he really is.  Maybe this isn’t a concern for the 6’1” Nadal, but it’s a problem I've noticed.

Nadal also favors sleeveless shirts which, in most regards, are rather flattering.  I mean…yeah.  But there’s something about them—and I think it’s the neckline—that kind of bugs me.  The high-neckedness has a way of sort of swallowing up his shoulders and completely obscuring his chest, which is a goddamn shame.

Neither of these is a really significant problem; the shorts and shirts that Nadal wears have their advantages: the shorts are snug, and the shirts are sleeveless:  Yes.  But he’s constantly wearing these bandanas, which I cannot abide.  I hate bandanas more than any article of clothing (with the possible exception of skorts, which are gross), and they give Nadal a serious case of caveman-brow.  That is what struck me most about the New York cover, the way that his eyes weren’t all smooshed down in the manner of a Neanderthal.

So my notes to Rafa on the subject of his wardrobe: No more bandanas, ever.  And no shirts either, for that matter.

Something That Is Belatedly Awesome - 8/22

This is delayed, and I apologize to my legions of readers (I hope to reach at least a dozen people by the end of the year). I've been busy at work and tired at home, and I'm trying to cram a whole day's worth of work into four hours so that I can take advantage of the publishing industry's summer hours, i.e. halfday Fridays in the spirit of kindergarten or similar. As a result, today's Awesome thing will be short and sweet. However. I have a lot to say, about a combination of things awesome and irritating, which I will definitely do over the weekend.

This looks awesome to me. I can't watch the video at work, but the word "nutsnack" makes me giggle uncontrollably.

Something That Is Awesome - 8/14

Apparently one of the cast members on the next season of America's Next Top Model is a tranny. That is awesome.

Satanic Shopping

I stopped at one of the Hudson News stands in Grand Central on Friday, and my total was exactly $6.66. I have to say, I was kind of proud of myself for accomplishing such evil with so little effort. For the record, if you want to make an evil purchase yourself, the cursed combination was:

--1 20 oz. bottle of Sprite Zero (I imagine any Coke product will suffice)
--1 pack of Orbit gum
--In Touch magazine

I think it was the final item that really put me over the edge, Satan-wise.

Something That Is Awesome - 8/7

This website is pretty aweome.

HOWEVER, I take issue with item #28.

Quickie #3

For the record, I'm firmly on Team Lo.  Eat it, Audrina.

Bug Eyes

I had an encounter last week that reminded my why I love New York.

I was at the Starbucks at Union Square—which is, to be fair, an area where you’re rather likely to bump into some of the more committed oddballs of the city. On my way to the register, I noticed a man wearing what I can only describe as a toga-inspired sun dress and a wreath of flowers on his head. Amused but not astonished, I went about my business, procuring the latte I so desperately needed.

As I went to leave, I noticed this gentleman again, looking at me with a mix of puzzlement and distaste, and when I walked by him, he muttered disdainfully:

“Bug eyes.”

I’m fairly certain he was referring to my aviator sunglasses, which I don’t take off inside because it’s too much trouble trying to juggle the off-and-on while putting Splenda in my coffee, and which, I’ll admit, are obnoxiously large and reflective. Hearing such dismayed disapproval from the man dressed as Aphrodite, I started to second-guess my fashion choice. Are the aviators too much? Too flashy? I’m very much open to advice on my wardrobe, especially when I’ve already gotten more than my money’s worth for these crappy glasses that disintegrate on a weekly basis.

Then…I considered the source, and started to laugh to myself. Not to be judgmental, but I’m not really inclined to concern myself with the clothing-related opinions of a dude in a sun dress and a floral crown. I kept laughing as I walked down 14th Street, satisfied to know that I was not the craziest-looking person around, despite the fact that I was now laughing out loud, seemingly at nothing.

That’s why I love New York.

PS: Also, because of this.