Five Movies I Have Absolutely No Desire to See - Number One

First, I want to take a moment to apologize for the lack of awesomeness this Wednesday, but again, full-on blogging will resume once my computer returns from its vacation in San Diego, where it is currently being prodded back to life by Sony technicians.

In the meantime, I’m offering this brief series on movies that already have managed to annoy me, despite the fact that I haven’t seen them. This isn’t a list in any real order, so I’m just numbering them as I post these—not counting up to something as sublime and awesome as Blair Waldorf this time. So without further ado:

Five Movies I Have Absolutely No Desire To See – Number One.
Marley and Me.

Don’t get me wrong—I love dogs, and Marley is super-cute. But a whole movie filled with nothing but sappy, cutesy schmaltz? I’m gagging. Maybe there’s a plot buried in here somewhere, maybe there are real and compelling characters, and maybe the emotions are real and convincing…but I doubt it. Marley and Me doesn’t look like it has anything to offer except for unrelenting cute, and I just don’t think I can take that for a full two hours.

Also? As somebody who was firmly on Team Aniston from the start and celebrated with noisemakers & party hats when Jen & John Mayer split up, I was personally offended when they got back together. Pull it together, Aniston—we’re no longer on speaking terms until you dump Captain Douchebag.