Out of the Way, Mofos.

OK, I've been working up to a rant lately because those assholes on the streets of Manhattan on have been ticking me off.

Once again I've been reminded that I'm apparently impossible to please. Because in DC, I was constantly irritated that there wasn't an inch of room to step off the curb while waiting for a red light to turn. In New York, I'm happy to be able to comfortably take a step off the curb without getting slammed by oncoming traffic, but I'm clearly not the only one with that bright idea.

Honestly, walking to & from work every morning, I get stuck waiting at a red light at every freaking corner. Fine; whatever. I can work around the whims of whoever controls the traffic lights (I suspect it's a gnome or dwarf living in a cave in Central Park). What really hocks me off lately is the fact that while I'm waiting for a light to change, about six or seven people step out into the street in front of me--some of them walk to the middle of a two-way street and stand on the double-yellow line as cars whiz by in both directions, looking like assholes. One day I'm going to see someone get hit, and I swear on all that is good and holy: I will laugh. Hard. Until I realize that the resulting mess is just one more thing in the way of my speedy & expeditious commute.

That's not the worst of it, though, because other people's stupidity certainly isn't new and doesn't really hamper my ability to have a good day. But when people crowd around in front of me, and then--when the light turns green--take their sweet motherfucking time strolling across the street, so that I'm forced to go at their pace? Fuck me, that's irritating. I find myself tripping on the heels of the impatient idiots who think that they're actually faster than I am.

A note to pretty much everybody in Manhattan? You're not. So stop cutting me off.